What is the spiritual aspects of DEI work? I know I am not the first to ask this question. I’m well aware, and could spend time researching what others have said. But I want to catch my first thoughts rough and untried, as a practice of public learning however public this blog may be.
Over a decade ago Dr. Leticia Nieto taught a workshop on understanding oppression patterns to an organization I was a part. She provided us a language and model to talk about oppression. She used the terms target and agent to denote those without and those with power respectively in a given social dynamic. That’s an oversimplification. But the part I want to focus on was she talked about a developmental path for each. Each path showed the coping strategies, or skill sets and their pattern of development. Both paths culminate in the ability to tap into “source”, which she referred to as spiritual in nature.
These developmental paths made sense to me and yes I thought “source” sounded important in this work, but I hardly ever heard these developmental paths referred to again, and certainly not the “source“ part. I, like any good college student thought we were laying out our work ahead and kinda expected to be having conversations about our personal development, how it fit with her models and maybe even start talking about spiritual power or something. But no. All this to say that in my pursuit of understanding DEI work and group dynamics, I have -I believe- only just begun to find “source”. Perhaps… time will tell.
Early in my path, I focused on consent processes in group work. Giving the team confidentiality, and control in how what was generated in the group was shared or used in the larger organization, seemed successful in getting down to what was really going on.
Then I turned to Gracious Space and Restorative circles, more pieces in the puzzle. If there was any spiritual or source aspect it was a sort of faith in the process. Again, oversimplification. I could write for days on each of these processes, their strengths and shadows.
In the past year I have been focusing on trauma, neurology, and interpersonal dynamics. I’ve been studying with SeekHealing for almost a year now. On the forefront of the “social healing” revolution, Seek brings people together and provides a trauma and stigma informed container to learn and develop communication skills while providing a sense of belonging and connection. A corner stone of their practice is listening, with no advising, fixing, or rescuing. Just understanding, curiosity and sharing emotional impact. That’s it. Simple but brilliant. Again, oversimplification. SeekHealing as a whole-systems intervention does a lot more than just this practice.
Recently in my personal life I have found a kind of presence, that I dare might be “source”.
When I open my heart to another and listen there is a new place. Seek’s prohibition against fixing, or advising has forced me to practice a different kind of presence; one unfettered by my higher brain taking up bandwidth figuring out how to alleviate suffering or right wrongs.
In a recent situation I had someone dear to me in a state of fear, anxiety, and sadness, and was able to be present and open my heart to a depth that could hold all their pain, and stay with them, that I can and will stay with them. And it felt like a bottomless font of love.
Is that source? Is it a facet of source?
Strangely I developed the font metaphor through Tonglen meditation, where I imagine a person angry at me and breathing in all the anger and purifying it with my heart, and breathing out peace. It feels like I have developed a radar dish that turns toward strong emotion. To take notice and if need be breath with it. Breathing alone might just be the ticket, it gives the body something to do when confronted with another’s strong feelings, keeps the body present and therefor the mind.
A mentor of mine said repeatedly “must be present to win.”